I sat down on the sofa feeling tightness in my chest; I was far away from finding solutions to my problems. I was unable to meditate since March, because of my inability to breathe properly. I closed my eyes and started repeating:
“Thena, I need to talk to you… Please help me to reach you… Thena, I need to talk to you… Please help me to reach you…”
Nothing happened. I tried several times without success. All of a sudden, I became aware of the thoughts racing in my mind:
‘What if Tabby doesn’t get an acceptance from a university? What happens if I cannot sell the yacht? How am I going to pay the tax dues? I have no savings! My credit card debts keep ascending at a fast pace; how am I going to pay them? How am I going to furnish my apartment? Will Tavin leave Tabby and me alone in the future? Tabby is getting more and more rebellious; am I going to be able to handle her when we start living together?’
I was thinking and visualizing catastrophic events while verbalizing my wish to reach Thena. This was the conflict of wishes, thoughts and words, a wrong technique for successful meditation. Upon realizing this fact, I put my headphones on and turned on the music from nature. A mixture of relaxing and exotic sounds of a jungle waterfall, and soothing sounds of streams, rain and a gentle breeze diffused almost immediately. Gradually, I felt at serenity and fell asleep.
In my dream, I found myself sitting on the usual pink colored bench. Everywhere was full of greens and colorful flowers; a nightingale was singing at the top of a nearby rose bush; and there was a sweet perfume in the air. Thank God, finally I am at Thena’s garden I thought, inhaling the sweet perfume in the air. I looked around; Thena was not there. All of a sudden, a pinpoint of light exploded into this great circle of light. As the light opened up, I saw Thena as gorgeous as usual, dressed in her sparkling, dazzling white and green gown. She walked towards me smiling and radiating a warm, golden light. I got up and ran towards her, teardrops in my eyes; she hugged me, which felt wonderful, warm, and loving.
“I tried to come here to see you, but I couldn’t,” I sobbed.
“I know,” she answered; “Your vibration was very low.”
“Thena, so many things happened lately in my life, and I don’t know how to handle them any more…”
“The most difficult part is over, Tuana; your future is very bright.”
“Tavin broke my nose and I can’t breathe properly any more. Why did all these horrible things happen?
“It was time for you to leave your life with Tavin and you were indecisive to do so; something had to set you in motion. Tavin acted as a catalyzor in this case.”
“But why did he have to do it in such a painful way?”
“Tavin has chosen a life style constructed around fear and jack-boot; he doesn’t know any other way to act. Everything will be all right from now on.”
“The whole thing dragged Tabby into despair. I know she feels like a victim, experiencing a lot of sadness, hopelessness, and anger. I feel somewhat guilty for this situation.”
‘Why do you feel guilty? Things happened for her spiritual improvement. Everything is in her plans; she made those plans before incarnating into her present life. Stop feeling sorry and start helping her.”
“Now is a good time to tell her who she really is, and why she shouldn’t feel like a victim and experience sadness, hopelessness, and anger. Tell her that she is a Lightworker… Teach her how a situation that may initially hurt and feel uncomfortable may turn out to be a blessing… Teach her how to find the benefit in every situation… Teach her how to grow from her unpleasant experience and become a better, stronger, compassionate, and understanding person…”
“I don’t even see her often enough to teach her all these.”
“You will be living together very soon.”
“Oh good; are we going to move together to my apartment?”
“No, you will move to a different city together.”
“Oh? I get it; Tabby will be accepted to a university in Ankara or Izmir, and we’ll be moving there, together.”
“Where else could we move?”
“How about the place you once lived with Justin’s father?”
“What? California! You cannot be serious! How can we move to the States? I have no means to do so.”
“I am very serious. Your road has been cleared; you and Tabby will be very happy and successful there.”
“I can’t believe that! It was my dream to live there. However, moving to the States requires a lot of money, which I do not possess; I am knee-deep in debts. I do not see how we can move to California. Besides, Tavin would never allow Tabby to go to the States.”
“Don’t worry about anything; everything will be resolved one by one.”
“I won’t tell you how; wait and see. This is your turning point. Accept the change, trust yourself and be courageous as usual.”
“There is a saying which goes like this: ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference’. I think I learned the serenity to accept the things I cannot change over the years, and I try to be courageous when it comes to changing things. I hope I’ll have the wisdom to know the difference.”
“You will have that wisdom; just listen to your inner voice. You will get through any obstacles by remaining passionately connected to your mission and taking consistent steps towards that mission. You are an experienced Lightworker; a Lightworker shines regardless of the challenges she faces in the material world.”
“Why don’t you tell me how my problems will be resolved? Am I going to win the lottery?”
“I won’t tell you how; just wait and see… And just for your information, winning the lottery is not in your plans.”
She hugged me, which felt wonderful, warm, and loving.
“Now my dearest, it’s time to go back and solve your problems one by one before moving to the States. Do not forget that I am always with you. Remain enfolded by pure love.”