Meaning
Why start another book about leadership? The answer is simple. Because we want more. Not necessarily more leadership books, but more out of life. We want more from our leaders. We want more from our work. We want more from our personal lives and we want more from our spiritual lives. But more what? More challenges, rewards, money, recognition, fulfillment, joy, honesty, care, abundance, and meaning.
That’s why another book on leadership is important. Leadership is a conduit to meaning. Leadership inspires others towards vision. Leadership is necessary in our lives; it’s everywhere. Many of us follow leaders at work, or we lead at work. Leadership abounds in our communities. Leadership is ubiquitous in our personal lives and in our families as well.
While we look for more meaning in our lives at work, home, and play, and until we begin to find that meaning, we are unsettled. Did you ever notice how challenges in our lives cause us to ask, Why? We ask because we want to make sense of the situation. We want to understand the meaning behind the event, so we can move on. When we don’t find meaning, we become disillusioned, lack motivation, and find substitutes for meaningful experiences. Some of us choose substitutes that may be unhealthy or destructive. Some of us just go through the motions and become human doings instead of human beings. Some of us succumb to overwhelming stress when we believe we are living a meaningless life. Even worse, some of us just give up on life when we perceive our lives to lack meaning.
Did you know the majority of heart attacks occur around 9:00 on Monday mornings? One study showed that the most common factor in these heart attacks was that the victims were people whose work had become joyless striving. In other words, they couldn’t find meaning in their work, and their lives had become so out of balance that, one Monday morning, their bodies said, “You are not going to work today”. Zap.
I remember a discussion I had with the general manager of a regional division, discussing with him the importance of finding meaning in work for our employees and leaders. His response was, “I think meaning at work is overrated.” Overrated? We spend the vast majority of our adult lives at work. One of the primary purposes of a leader is to inspire vision and motivation in those he or she leads, and few things are more inspiring and motivating than meaningful work.
Love
“Love? You cannot write about love; no one would understand it. People will be confused by the word love.” I heard those words repeatedly as I continued interviewing professors for my dissertation committee. I could hardly believe my ears. No one would understand love? What sort of culture are we that we no longer understand love?
It became a mission of one of the faculty chairs to make sure the rest of the faculty would discourage my desire to write about this new model of leadership. The ironic part of this experience was the encouragement I received from my cohorts as I was developing the model. They all supported it and believed the time was right to introduce this leadership model. Finally, when I was insistent and descriptive about my passion in developing this new model of leadership, a professor told me to wait until I had Dr. in front of my name to introduce the model. I begrudgingly accepted the fact that support from the university to pursue this as my dissertation was not forthcoming. Now is the time to introduce you to Love-Based Leadership (LBL).
I found it both interesting and curious that some thought the word love would confuse people. Some said people would think it’s sexual. Do we always associate love with sex? I believe we are too intelligent a species to make that exclusive association. To understand love at a deeper level, let us first look at the antithesis of love: fear.
Fear is almost as powerful as love, and certainly easier to fall into for many of us. Fear is distrust, disbelief, and ignorance. I once heard someone say that F.E.A.R. stood for False Evidence Appearing Real. Historically, fear has been a powerful means of motivating others. Fear has moved the masses to action or to retreat. Fear has moved multitudes of people to non-action and apathy. Fear is a formidable force. Yet fear can leave as quickly as the snap of a finger.
In this book, we explore the fundamental elements of Love-Based Leadership (LBL): why it’s important in our organizations and how to develop those skills and traits. We face fear head-on and we open up the power of choice in our lives.
The journey to leadership must start within. We need to go inward, allowing reflection and introspection to develop our own leadership skills and qualities. I invite you to step into a space of self-reflection at specific times throughout the book with the invitation: Let’s Go For A Walk. This is your time to go inward, to think, to be present in the moment, and to reflect on your own leadership. Over the years when working with many different people, I often suggest that we go for a walk to clear our heads, relieve our stress, re-group, and take time for introspection. Grab your journal or notebook and a pen, and let’s get moving.
“So, twiddley-dee, twiddley-dum
Look out baby, 'cause here I come.
And I'm bringing you a love that's true.
So get ready, so get ready.” (Smokey Robinson)